The Gun Industry April Fools Roundup

The gun industry loves April Fools. Like a lot. I’m not entirely sure exactly why, but it’s become a tradition that on April 1st, gun makers and related companies release a ton of ads that promise some bizarre products. Some are poorly Photoshopped and others so good they leave people completely fooled.

I’m a huge fan of this. It’s fun, it’s funny, and I love the good, harmless social media tradition. I gathered my ten favorites from this week that drew a snicker to do a fun roundup.

EOTech Shakewake

You’ve heard of the shake awake to keep your optic’s batteries lasting longer, and you’ve probably heard of Shakeweights. EOTech has combined the two ideas to create the Shakewake. You’ll have to keep the optic moving to keep the reticle illuminated. Features include a built-in calorie counter, a tactical grip, and a return label for your dignity.

The Hi-Point Drone

Drone warfare has exploded in recent years and small, man-portable drones are reshaping the battlefield. Hi-Point announced a $100 million contract for the Hi-Point pistol drone. For $5,000, you get a drone, chrome trim, and a keychain with every purchase.

S&W Volcanic 2.0

This is funny, but the Smith & Wesson social media folks need an S&W education. The Volcanic was a lever-action pistol that got S&W started. S&W is now promising the Volcanic 2.0, but they posted a picture of an S&W Model 1 with a red dot. Maybe it’s some kind of meta joke about being pedantic about guns.

Laugo Arms Alien XL

Have you ever considered spending six grand on a pistol? If so, Laugo Arms is for you, and now their new XL version promises six grand worth of barrel. This gun wears a ten-inch barrel and will ship with a hard case and fitted holster. The Alien XL brings the long slide.

Centurion Arms The Cannon

Are you tired of your guns not being loud enough? According to a Centurion Arms email blast, you can now equip your favorite rifle with The Cannon. It’s a river suppressor, louder, if you will. The Cannon will make your shot five times louder. No silence, all presence.

Holosun HS-Boom

Do your aging eyes make finding the red dot on your optic tough? Holosun is proud to announce the HS-Boom, the first optic to use bifocal technology to amplify the size of the dot and make it easy to see as as you age.

CZ Shield Front Adapter Sighting Technology

Attaching an optic to the rear of your firearm is so out of date. Let’s move forward—literally. Move your optic from the rear of your slide to the front for better situational awareness. Or something. I don’t know. It’s new, so spend money on it. Holsters don’t matter anyway.

The Desert Quail From Magnum Research

Have you ever looked at a Desert Eagle and wished they’d make a more compact model for concealed carry? Well, your wish is Magnum Research’s command. They’ve announced the new Desert Quail, a subcompact .50 AE pistol. Not only will you absolutely eliminate your enemy, but you’ll blind any other potential attackers from the muzzle flash.

Brownells GLOCK That Takes 1911 Mags

Brownells is sick of everyone asking if every new gun takes GLOCK magazines. They’ve also gotten into the Gen 3 GLOCK clone game and released their very own. Their announcement video showcased their new compact GLOCK that takes 1911 mags.

The Springfield Armory Triple Stack 1911

Double-stack 1911s and 2011s are so popular right now.  You get that great trigger with the short reset, and the hammer-fired awesomeness…with more ammo! But what if you could have even more ammo? Problem solved. Springfield Armory has triple-stacked their Prodigy series to give you a full 24 rounds of ammo in a flush-fitting magazine. It’s thicc, but that’s just more gun to grab.

April Fools

I love the gun industry’s dedication to April Fools, and I hope you enjoy this rundown. Also, go bully Magpul to actually make the wafflemaker.